This song is based on my son Meharo’s view of the politics of our household. I am frequently presented with hand drawn tabloid newspaper headlines and bombarded by questions from “Manley Johnson” of the “The Kitchen Defender.” It is quite relentless. The basic gist of it is: The President of the Bettison household is President Patrick, of the Peace and Love Party. Reggie (the passive aggressive dog), as the leader of the Raid Party, desperately wants to become president of the house. Although Reggie is publicly quite happy go lucky, when in the backyard he would display episodes of ferocity toward passersby. Reggie was often taunted by Orange Cat who would casually preen himself on the other side of the backyard gate. Reggie would be enraged by Orange Cats audacity. Orange Cat, unimpressed or fooled by Reggie’s antics and aware of Reggie’s lust for power, authors an expose entitled Demonic: The Life and Crimes of Reginald Prance Chompy-face Then one day a missing poster appears at the front door of the Bettison household: Missing. Orange Cat. If seen please call 727..etc. Reggie is a suspect. Manley Johnson is a journalist for the conservative pro Raid Party tabloid - The Kitchen Defender. Though Manley presents himself as a man’s man, he is terrified of large Florida cockroaches which he calls “Megs.” Manley campaigns hard for Reggie’s presidential aspirations. He accuses President Patrick of being a puppet of cockroaches, or Megs, as he calls them. He wants Nic Cage as VP (he ate a cockroach in Vampire’s Kiss) and Alex Jones as Minister of Defense. He believes in the Raid Party policy: Raid should be used on megs if they enter the house, and Raid should be routinely sprayed around the house as a precautionary measure. Manley Johnson and The Kitchen Defender repeatedly criticize President Patrick’s Meg deportation, live and let live policy as not strong enough. The President is accused of collusion with the Megs. The Kitchen Defender always presents President Patrick’s friendly smile as an evil grin. Manley Johnson claims President Patrick is receiving instructions and communicating with megs during bathroom visits. He claims the President is lowered down via the bathtub to the crawl space under the house, and that he communicates with the Megs using a secret microphone he has installed in his penis. Manley routinely calls for President Patrick to show us the microphone. He leads protests outside the bathroom door, “Let Us In, Let Us In!!! Why won’t you let us in,” he will say. “If there is no microphone, why won’t you let us see?” “Show us the microphone.” Manley Johnson makes repeated offers to inspect the President’s microphone in a private, intimate setting.